I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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