based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
