hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its not stalking. its research.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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