There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
