And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
