dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
