There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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