It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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