____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
