yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
