If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
