there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
