i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
