i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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