How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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