I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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