Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fuck appropriateness.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
