I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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