goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
