I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
