This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
