I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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