I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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