Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
