Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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