I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
