i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
