He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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