I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
