Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
