i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
