I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
