Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
