if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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