Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
