My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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