Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
