remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
