True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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