she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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