The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
