He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
