I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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