Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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