Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
