I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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