I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
should my penis look like a turkey
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
