if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dignity is for republicans.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
