Who wears a wallet chain?!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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