dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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