we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
